Something died inside of me..

Not me

 

Woke up one day and realized, something died inside of me.

What happened to the creative and fun part of me? Why did it leave?

How did I not see it go and how do I get it back?

Oh the childish side of me, please come back!

 I miss you very much as tears run down my face from your absence.

 I want to play again and draw outside the lines, and feel your presence.

 I want to see everyday and everything as an adventure and just enjoy it.

 Oh joy, why did you leave me too? Did I not satisfy you?

 Or did you prefer the childish side of me?

 It's OK, I understand. I would've left me too.

They always say don't rush growing up but that's the only choice they give us.

 All the rules and restrictions, how can we be us?

I no longer recognize myself from all the pain, hurt, and sorrow.

Who am I and what do I stand for?

 When did things become so unclear and life so black and white with nothing in between.

 I miss laughing for no reason and smiling just because I can.

 When did I become so fake? "Hey, how are you?" "I'm great!".

 Lier! Lier!

 I can see it on your face, but you can't because I now have a poker face.

 You won't see me cry or be vulnerable, no not me.

You will no longer see the sensitive side of me, I am as tough as can be.

 I will not break out and let everyone see the complete me.

I was once me and that was why people were so mean.

Maybe they were jealous, how can she be so happy and just be?

 Well, I hope you're happy and laugh as you please.

 Because I will be me again, but just different you'll see.

 I will nourish what has died inside of me until it's healthy and no longer weak.

You can't handle me, but I can't stand not to be.

 You will no longer cause me pain and sorrow,

 and  I will no longer worry about your tomorrow.

 We all die alone and are judged alone, so since that is true than let me be.

 Oh childish side of me, I will let you be.

I will protect you and allow you to be free.

Express yourself as you please, cause I won't be mean.

You are a part of me, and without you I'm incomplete.

I don't ever want to grow up and be this,

not me.