Trust?Not so much

Yesterday: I was walking with my sister after work and talking about our day and life in general. I had an OMG moment! I have trust issues, that's why the idea of marriage terrifies me. How can I trust someone enough to marry them? I was quiet relieved actually cause I now know a more specific reason to my fears and can address it accordingly. LOL I have become my own therapist. Insha'allah I need to work on that, TRUST!

Everything works out in the end..

Salam lovlies,

I am just sitting here at work for an 11-hour shift (yes! 11-hours!). Pondering over my life and how things come up out of the blue. Alhamdulillah, I am very grateful for everything in my life and I wouldn't want to change a thing. If I did want to change something then I wouldn't experience and go through whatever I did instead, does that make sense? Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah. Insha'allah my next post will be about the advice my Grandmother gave to me, much needed advice.

Let's just be grateful to Allah, for everything.

Today's lecture from my latest obsession is a Khutbah by Sheikh Omar Suleiman on Gratitude and the importance of being grateful to Allah and other people. Alhamdulilah, I feel refreshed and more aware of purpose and life in general, especially when I really listen. You can watch the lecture I'm talking about by clicking here for the link. Insha'allah you will benefit from it and enjoy watching as much as I did, let me know what you think!

Abandonment issues

Well, I am no longer in denial. Yes I have "abandonment issues" but how does that effect me? For starters, I can't stand silence for long, I worry the people I love and care about will leave me at the first sign of trouble or anything else for that matter. I am a prisoner of people. I am attached to people. I love to have people around me. I worry about the condition of the people in my life. Let me make it clear, only a small number of people that I really love is what I worry about. I have become vulnerable and nothing anyone says or does changes my mind. Have I proven my case? The question is what am I going to do about it? Well, I am on a mission to do my own therapy with much needed help from Allah, Alhamdulillah. It is actually working out pretty good I must say. So for starters I narrowed it down to a list of  the most important person in my life to the lesser important person and focus on that person first, going slowly. I started a fast, a fast of talking, approaching  or even talking (well, I tried) about that person for a month. How did that go you might ask? I'm about 2 weeks into this.At first I thought I can do this, I CAN DO THIS!! After 5 days and that person hasn't called or anything I started wondering, is my relationship coming to an end? Oh Allah can I do this? But I told myself "No! You will do this! Even if the relationship ends! You won't quite" So I didn't. I started to watch more lectures, especially by Sheikh Omar Suleiman, and I didn't feel as vulnerable and attached anymore. I was becoming ok and more "stable". To my shock the person actually sent me a message!! I know I was shocked but did I reply? Heck no! I still have 2 weeks to go. I need to do this and I can't worry about the relationship breaking apart. It shouldn't if the person really cares about me and wants me in their life. I need them to be in my hand and not in my heart because the only One who should be in my heart is Allah, and Alhamdulillah.
Let me know if you'd like an update on how this goes and what Lectures I'm watching :)

Can you Comment, please?!

Ok, so I love writing on this blog but I also LOVE having conversations with other people and not just myself. If one of my posts intrigue you, tell me! If you are curious about why I posted something, tell me! If you'd like to know more, tell me! What do you want to see me post about? Please tell me! I know you probably would if you really wanted to but I'm just gonna give that extra push! wink-wink!

We'll live & see

I have discovered my own therapy tool, Alhamdulillah. I have found myself lately wondering a lot and thinking the dangerous "what if" about the future. All of a sudden I caught myself always saying "We'll live & see". That has made a world of a difference in my attitude and anxiety level. I mean really, can we do anything but live and see. So I wanted to share my new found peace of mind and what actually helps me look forward to see how things will work out and what will happen. Try it, you might like it too!

Till Then,

We'll live & see...

Why do people have to leave each other?

This is my constant and ongoing struggle: why do people have to leave each other? I remember reading Yasmin Mogahed's article on this a while back and thought it would be a great idea to read it again as a reminder. Alhamdulillah, I must work on this attachment, it's too painful, too unpredictable, and too draining for me to keep going through it again and again. I recommend everyone to read that article and it's part two also. But I'm thinking, now what? How do I detach? How do I change my connection from people to Allah? I don't know what to do first and how to do it but I have started. I decided to determine who am I currently attached to and not contact that person for a month. Kind of like fasting, I'm fasting from some people. I need to detach! I desperately want to detach and Insha'allah I hope I can. If anyone has suggestions on what I should do please share, I would LOVE to heard your thoughts and input on this. Make Dua' that Allah makes this change and transition easier for me, Ameen. I've attached the links below to the articles and Insha'allah it will benefit you as it has benefited me.

Why do people have to leave each other? Part 1

People leave each other. But do they return? Part 2