Dear S.,
Oh my where do I start! I have so much I wanna say to you but I think I should start with Thank you. Thank you for being my best friend when I needed it the most, thank you for staying up till 4 a.m. to make sure I am ok after I have spent hours crying, for giving me great advice, for always being there when I needed you, thank you for comforting me, thank you for always making me feel like everything I tell you is confidential, for never telling anyone anything I say, Thank you! You are the only person I can tell anything too and know you won't go balistic on me.
I was really looking forward to visiting the family in the summer, and knew it would be a summer to remember. Oh boy! Was it a summer to remember....I will never forget the feeling I had landing in the airport and knowing I will be home soon. Home...I don't think I know where my home is there anymore after that summer...I lost the home I loved the most and cherished so deeply. I gotta say you shocked me! Oh man did you shock me..I didn't see it coming, AT ALL! I think back now and realize I was stupid, really stupid or was I naive? Naive enough to think that people just said what they wanted to say and didn't hold back or throw hints. Hints, I didn't get them..I'm sorry, I didn't.
I should have seen them and I know that now after you aksed me how did I not see it coming. I swear you blew me away, when you talked to me I felt sick..I just ate and I was so nervous and shocked I felt so bizarre. You say it all straight forward, thank you for that too! The reaction of others, they didn't get it, did they? I don't think I even did. Oh God the reactions, that was bad. Maybe thats why the summer is so unforgettable, a lot of good times with so many bad.
I don't think I wanted to say yes, no I didn't. I fell under your pressure, I asked for a week and you wanted to know in three days. Three days?!? I don't regret it, for I know Allah knew I didn't like it. I tried to convince myself but it wasn't right.
I remember leaving and feeling so sad, cause I thought I knew what will happen after that but I didn't. I remember talking to you after I came back but that didn't last. I just have one regret and one wish out of all this. I regret not reading your last letter to me, and I wish I could read it now. It wouldn't do me any good, that I know, but It'll give me comfort. I was shocked when I found out your good news, saddened that it was not from you but I know it isn't your fault, you couldn't and I understand.
I sat down and thought threw my emotions, why? Why am I sad? Why am I hurt? Why am I angry? Don't worry I'll tell you..
I'm sad because I lost the best friend I ever had and possibly ever will have. I am hurt because of the ignorant people that don't know and label me as something I'm not. I am angry about our first connection since your union. How could you be so cold? I never knew you like that, why did you change? You made jokes I didn't get, you didn't even ask how I was doing. Really?Why?
But I still thank you. Thank you for helping me move on, because now I can let you go. I don't feel angry or hurt anymore but I know I will always be sad for my great loss of you.
I see mini you and I smile, I know you have much joy. I hope your happy, I really do. I will never forget you even though I probably should. How can I? It's you! I know we will meet someday but it will never be the same. No it can't be the same but that's ok because I know Allah wants it that way, remember what you always talked about? Naseeb, that makes me laugh a bit now seeing how all this worked out. I remember being quite while you talk, you gave me courage, strength and great advice. I have to accept it all, I don't have a choice. But I still thank you for your time, for the years from your life that you shared with me. I will never forget you nor do I want too, you are the best summer I ever had.
Oh my where do I start! I have so much I wanna say to you but I think I should start with Thank you. Thank you for being my best friend when I needed it the most, thank you for staying up till 4 a.m. to make sure I am ok after I have spent hours crying, for giving me great advice, for always being there when I needed you, thank you for comforting me, thank you for always making me feel like everything I tell you is confidential, for never telling anyone anything I say, Thank you! You are the only person I can tell anything too and know you won't go balistic on me.
I was really looking forward to visiting the family in the summer, and knew it would be a summer to remember. Oh boy! Was it a summer to remember....I will never forget the feeling I had landing in the airport and knowing I will be home soon. Home...I don't think I know where my home is there anymore after that summer...I lost the home I loved the most and cherished so deeply. I gotta say you shocked me! Oh man did you shock me..I didn't see it coming, AT ALL! I think back now and realize I was stupid, really stupid or was I naive? Naive enough to think that people just said what they wanted to say and didn't hold back or throw hints. Hints, I didn't get them..I'm sorry, I didn't.
I should have seen them and I know that now after you aksed me how did I not see it coming. I swear you blew me away, when you talked to me I felt sick..I just ate and I was so nervous and shocked I felt so bizarre. You say it all straight forward, thank you for that too! The reaction of others, they didn't get it, did they? I don't think I even did. Oh God the reactions, that was bad. Maybe thats why the summer is so unforgettable, a lot of good times with so many bad.
I don't think I wanted to say yes, no I didn't. I fell under your pressure, I asked for a week and you wanted to know in three days. Three days?!? I don't regret it, for I know Allah knew I didn't like it. I tried to convince myself but it wasn't right.
I remember leaving and feeling so sad, cause I thought I knew what will happen after that but I didn't. I remember talking to you after I came back but that didn't last. I just have one regret and one wish out of all this. I regret not reading your last letter to me, and I wish I could read it now. It wouldn't do me any good, that I know, but It'll give me comfort. I was shocked when I found out your good news, saddened that it was not from you but I know it isn't your fault, you couldn't and I understand.
I sat down and thought threw my emotions, why? Why am I sad? Why am I hurt? Why am I angry? Don't worry I'll tell you..
I'm sad because I lost the best friend I ever had and possibly ever will have. I am hurt because of the ignorant people that don't know and label me as something I'm not. I am angry about our first connection since your union. How could you be so cold? I never knew you like that, why did you change? You made jokes I didn't get, you didn't even ask how I was doing. Really?Why?
But I still thank you. Thank you for helping me move on, because now I can let you go. I don't feel angry or hurt anymore but I know I will always be sad for my great loss of you.
I see mini you and I smile, I know you have much joy. I hope your happy, I really do. I will never forget you even though I probably should. How can I? It's you! I know we will meet someday but it will never be the same. No it can't be the same but that's ok because I know Allah wants it that way, remember what you always talked about? Naseeb, that makes me laugh a bit now seeing how all this worked out. I remember being quite while you talk, you gave me courage, strength and great advice. I have to accept it all, I don't have a choice. But I still thank you for your time, for the years from your life that you shared with me. I will never forget you nor do I want too, you are the best summer I ever had.
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