Thursday April 26th, 2011 seems like a random day but it wasn't. I made a lot of realizations that day like the importance of remembering your past, better yet everyday of your life. On the t.v. show The View this lady came on that can remember every single day of her life! Only 12 people have that gift and her son is one of them. But what really made me think about it was my grandma, I miss her story and I can't say I really remember them but I miss her sharing with me; her pain, happiness, sadness, everything...I miss it. I truly understand what " a person is a library" means, my grandma was a library that disappeared when she died. Sad reality but it's true. I don't want to be forgotten and worse I don't want to forget; I don't want to forget my youth, my "naive" years and all..I wanna remember as much as I can. So this is why I am writing about Thursday April 26th, 2011...I wanna remember.
It's almost the end of the semester, Alhamdulillah! The first day I walked into my Tuesday/Thursday English Literature class, I sat in the middle section, third row to the back, but at first I was in the beginning of the first row with Jackson and Freda. I didn't want to stay sitting there because my goal was to get all A's that semester, and I though sitting next to Jackson who just says random things and can't help it would distract me from my goals, so I moved. My sister who is also in the class with me couldn't make it because she couldn't find a place to park and we forgot our permit, so she went home to get the permit from my dad's truck so we could park for our next Math class. The first English class wasn't a big deal, played a game to get to know your neighbors like what's your favorite food and color, what do you like to do for a hobby and so on to see what we have in common. Jackson and I both like the color blue. I didn't move to the middle section, third row to the back until the next class which was Thursday. As I walked by with my sister, I saw the confusion in Jackson and Freda's eyes to why I didn't sit next to them but I had already made a decision.
I was happy with my new location and thought it was perfect. The third day of class (Tuesday) I was shocked to see that someone had taken my spot!! How could they?!? Don't they know the non-written student rule? Don't change seats!?! I didn't have time to be mad I had to find a new location, which led me to the other side of my row; the last row third spot before last or fourth spot from the first, however you wanna look at it. I was sitting next to a guy, but not any guy. His name so happens to be my name but the male version of it! We both have the same nickname which was really confusing and at first I didn't like the teacher coming up with the idea of calling me girl ---, and him boy--, but it didn't bother me after a few classes.
Now I can finally get to the moment I have in mind that happened on Thursday April 26th, 2011. As usual enable to see the teacher I see the back of boy--, it can get very distracting. I keep thinking...I know so and so converted a year after meeting so and so then they got married, could that be what happens to me? Could he be him? Also I was very thankful that I wear the hijab because I'm sure it has stopped me from saying many stupid things and reminds me to lower my gaze. We don't talk much, a few small conversations here and there but nothing else. Now that it's getting closer to the last school day I wonder if he'll say anything but that day, on Thursday April 26th, 2011, I realized so what if he did. This would never get anywhere, I mean what are the chances of someone who has not asked a single question about my origin, religion or anything of that sort have any interest to ask or say anything on the last day. I realized I am just dreaming and building myself up for nothing. This class was probably a test for me to lower my gaze when I'm sitting next you a handsome guy but IstaghfarAllah I have failed to do so about half the time. I don't stare in a bad way, I just think of the possibilities. It's time for me to realize..Even though math tells me almost everything has a probability of one, I believe this case has a probability of zero but I'm fine with that.
Even though, I always want to remember this because I have learned and grown so much from my English class and not just in analyzing stories but much more than that.
It's almost the end of the semester, Alhamdulillah! The first day I walked into my Tuesday/Thursday English Literature class, I sat in the middle section, third row to the back, but at first I was in the beginning of the first row with Jackson and Freda. I didn't want to stay sitting there because my goal was to get all A's that semester, and I though sitting next to Jackson who just says random things and can't help it would distract me from my goals, so I moved. My sister who is also in the class with me couldn't make it because she couldn't find a place to park and we forgot our permit, so she went home to get the permit from my dad's truck so we could park for our next Math class. The first English class wasn't a big deal, played a game to get to know your neighbors like what's your favorite food and color, what do you like to do for a hobby and so on to see what we have in common. Jackson and I both like the color blue. I didn't move to the middle section, third row to the back until the next class which was Thursday. As I walked by with my sister, I saw the confusion in Jackson and Freda's eyes to why I didn't sit next to them but I had already made a decision.
I was happy with my new location and thought it was perfect. The third day of class (Tuesday) I was shocked to see that someone had taken my spot!! How could they?!? Don't they know the non-written student rule? Don't change seats!?! I didn't have time to be mad I had to find a new location, which led me to the other side of my row; the last row third spot before last or fourth spot from the first, however you wanna look at it. I was sitting next to a guy, but not any guy. His name so happens to be my name but the male version of it! We both have the same nickname which was really confusing and at first I didn't like the teacher coming up with the idea of calling me girl ---, and him boy--, but it didn't bother me after a few classes.
Now I can finally get to the moment I have in mind that happened on Thursday April 26th, 2011. As usual enable to see the teacher I see the back of boy--, it can get very distracting. I keep thinking...I know so and so converted a year after meeting so and so then they got married, could that be what happens to me? Could he be him? Also I was very thankful that I wear the hijab because I'm sure it has stopped me from saying many stupid things and reminds me to lower my gaze. We don't talk much, a few small conversations here and there but nothing else. Now that it's getting closer to the last school day I wonder if he'll say anything but that day, on Thursday April 26th, 2011, I realized so what if he did. This would never get anywhere, I mean what are the chances of someone who has not asked a single question about my origin, religion or anything of that sort have any interest to ask or say anything on the last day. I realized I am just dreaming and building myself up for nothing. This class was probably a test for me to lower my gaze when I'm sitting next you a handsome guy but IstaghfarAllah I have failed to do so about half the time. I don't stare in a bad way, I just think of the possibilities. It's time for me to realize..Even though math tells me almost everything has a probability of one, I believe this case has a probability of zero but I'm fine with that.
Even though, I always want to remember this because I have learned and grown so much from my English class and not just in analyzing stories but much more than that.
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