My Current Dilemma

It's 1 a.m. and here I am sitting in the living room while my husband is sound asleep so he can wake up for work at 3:30 a.m. He made me upset before he slept when he was telling me how much patience his mother has and how what I am dealing with is nothing for her, so I got upset. I have a right to be upset, don't I? Well anyway, here I am alone and not sure what to do..Should I go back to bed and try to sleep till he wakes up, or search for volunteer work and how I can get a job, or just surf the web. Mainly, I am worried about how fast my life is changing and how sad I am about some of the change. My sister which means everything to me as she has been my partner in life and we have been through so much together is in Mexico. Which is so far away from me and this is the first time I am mot going to be with her when she becomes older this year. I am sad as to how we have separate lives now and we won't be sharing the same experiences or learn the same things. I guess we have been so close for so long I'm not sure how to be without her or how to act. I feel like everyday I get more and more overwhelmed by everything that is going on and insha'allah I solve it before I have a breakdown. I think I'll go rest my mind for now and lay down next to my husband even though I am upset with him. He doesn't read my blog but if he did I would say:
A tip for you babe: Don't compare me to your mother!!
I hope he learns that lesson soon. I think I need to stop blogging now, Okay..Good night! 

Test of Patience

Patience...Not one of my strengths it turns out and I must say I am annoyed by my lack of patience as it is making my life difficult! I have noticed today that God is testing me with patience but not patience on waiting for something but instead patience with people and unfortunately someone that is part of my new family (Big B). I don't know exactly how I am going to overcome my annoyance and frustration but I have to come up with a plan. Since I have moved to Canada to be with my husband I can't work yet but some alternatives would be volunteering at the Masjid and the animal shelter since I don't have my precious cat with me (She wouldn't like the cold weather). I find myself upset, frustrated, annoyed, and plain out angry. I can't stay this way or else it will effect me tremendously so I need to do something! I have been reflecting on how I have become as a person and how much I have changed which is probably why I am getting frustrated. I no longer tolerate people that are not kind or patience with others and I hate it when people accuse others instead of doing what a Muslim should do and excuse them as much as possible. I am exhausted now and still can't sleep from my anger plus the extra cup of coffee that I had too late, Oopsie. I am hoping that Allah will forgive me for my shortcomings during my time of struggle and guide me to find the strength to be more patience and become a better person as a result. Ya Allah, I need your love and mercy at this time of difficulty. Insha'allah I will come out of this a more patient and understanding person. 

P.S. My main problem is also that I OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). Well, self diagnosed at least and I am obsessed hence the word in having everything in place and once someone ruins my system I loose it and become angry. Can anyone advise me on what could help me control myself or not get so upset? It would make my life so much easier so please do!

Married Life

Asalamu Alaikum,

 I am writing this post just to give an update on recent events in my life. Alhamdulillah, I got married the beginning of this year to the most wonderful man and have been married for four months so far. I have moved to Canada in the middle of nowhere and adjusting to my new life as I have only been here since the beginning of May, 2014. It's not a walk in the park but Alhamdulillah I am adjusting well to my new life so far. That's basically whats new which is so different from the last post I had written on my blog. Long Time!! Oops.